| uhm yeah |
[Jul. 23rd, 2007|01:26 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
wow the last time this was updated was 64 weeks ago... thats...interesting. Well nothing much going on just work really I'm training to be an assistant manager level one now which is good. UhmmmMMmmm i want another job though so I can have 2 jobs! I want to work at subway or jamba juice.
went to Dennys with Jackie Kristina Luis and John? yeah a driver from the eastlake or imperial dominos store got home at 5 am and im sleeeeeeeeepy!
uhmmmmmm nothing much so yeah ima go lol
toodles |
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| My inner Child... |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|07:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Ros's house | ] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | From My nephews game | ] |
| Your Inner Child Is Sad | 
You're a very sensitive soul.
You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have.
Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone.
You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 27th, 2006|10:03 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
Gah, I keep forgetting to post here but I hope I remember from now on since I don't go to my myspace alot anymore buttttttt school is in a little bit and im really not in the mood... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 27th, 2006|07:34 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | In my daughters eyes- Martina Mcbride | ] |
Any Day Now was like the BEST SHOW EVERZ!!!! on Lifetime woot woot I miss it... I need to break out the tapes and watch them! lol I recorded like all of them anyway lol
ANYwho yeah we are on a 4 day count down to spring break WOW I can't believe it's that close....but yeah
Uhmmmmm
Im bored my tooth hurts and well yeah I didn't go to school today
And that resulted in BORDUM
What can I say...The camera it loves me ♥
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| EH... |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|04:22 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Concrete Angel- Martina McBride ♥ | ] |
Today is boring somewhat
Tommorow shall be different
But I will never change
Oh well
how deep lol |
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| Ahhh |
[Feb. 19th, 2006|06:38 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  FAT | ] |
I feel fat....
to much crap and tofu.
bleh |
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| I miss my hair... |
[Feb. 12th, 2006|08:44 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | none | ] |
I miss my longer hair...even a little longer than this it was now it's short to freakin short *cries*
Sigh... my hair was my only beauty I think...but I guess that's why it's gone... I have no beauty, I don't think I ever did...this is not a pointless post to have people tell me that im beautiful thats not my point this is what I feel period. So you can call me ugly and I would believe it.
Le Shon
La Shawn
whatever...
people at starbucks call me Lori |
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| It's been a while |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|06:51 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | crappy | ] |
I missed this place well now im back.
Jump for joy I know your excited
ok maybe not....
♥ |
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| The beach |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | none | ] |
Today I went down to mission beach with my friend Nichole, and we went for a walk and jog yess for excersize! and yeah we walked a heck of a long way talking not realizing we went a long way! so that was specialjogging back, we made it though! yippyness!! I had to get up EARLY! this morning! psh on my last morning before school tommorow with new sched...
which is as follow'z
Gov-Anouthong...
Multi cult lit- MS. THOMAS...the perky one had her last year...it was specail but perkyness can be fun mind you.
Honor Choir-My Lcmom ♥ ^__^
Peer Tutor for first year choir-My Lcmom ♥ ^__^
Geom2-Miss. Beverige ( and will be MRS....something)
Dance Beg- (not to happy about the BEG part but whateverz)MS. TRIM! woot woot! ^__^ ♥ gotta love Ms. Trim!!!!!!
oh and yeah after the beach we went to a nearby Starbucks and had a Grean Tea Frap it was pretty spiffy I got one to take back home hehe. They were GREEN...well duh right? uh we may go again this Thursday...I NEED MY CAR like seriously! then I CAN DRIVE PLACES and yeah...
uhm feeling blah right now I need something....just don't know what sometime's I seriously just want to shoot myself in the head, but everytime I try there are no bullet's in the gun...I wonder why that is.
♥ |
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| I realized this toooo late |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|03:02 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  numb | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | My Immortal- Evanescence | ] |
.:. I didn't want to.:.
The weeks seem to be getting shorter
the day's seem to be done
everyday I try to imagine what it will be like when im gone
I'm counting down each minute which hour is my last
I didn't want to say goodbye I know it went by fast
I swallow each pill my mind begins to race what if this is really it
I think I've met my fate.
I'm starting to get scared now my tears begin to fall
Now I finally realize
I didn't want to leave after all.
-La Shawn Atchison
♥
Clicky>>> http://lalalovesyou.cjb.net/ my new journal address much easier to visit I couldn't have lala.tk someone already had it! V__V |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|05:23 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | worried | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Addicted-Kelly | ] |
I love the song addicted by Kelly Clarkson...Listing to it now.
Addicted - Kelly Clarkson
It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
----
Truly inspiring some people...
I hold my heart in my hand
It hurt's to bad to hold it inside.
Althought it can be crushed at anytime...
My tear's fall silently and im tired of wishing it will end someday maybe it will and everyone will be better off.
I'm sick of crying and hurting people's feeling's IM SORRY alright think it's my fault for everything I don't care it is and I know it! I don't know what i did but IM SORRY is that what people wait for? for me to breakdown and cave because THEY KNOW i'm not strong enough I know I can't take it I can't have people hurting I can't have people feel pain I CAN'T TAKE IT PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! My teacher's my support my everything friend's im sorry for not telling you what was wrong I know you were worried but yet it's to hard to say anything. If you really want to know JUST ASK ME I don't care anymore it wont matter anyway so who CARES.
Who freakin cares!
ahhh im such a Drama Queen don't mind me no one ever does.
Screaming is good sometime I think I need to.
Take care everone.
♥ La Shawn, LS, Lala
" I lose my way and it's not to long before you point it out I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eye's. I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life, my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with"
I was so young you should have known never to lean on me...
Aww...My Zay Zay
Final's Tommorow... |
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| I never thought I would wonder |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|12:00 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | Suicidal... | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Everytime-Brittany Spears | ] |
"Sometime's even death looks beautiful"
As many time's as it has been repeated...I don't think anyone care's anymore. I don't think they ever did. The whole truth is there looking you in the face It's right under your nose and yet, you don't even see it...you look right past the sign's they are everywhere. When you look at a face sometime's you wonder...where is this person going? where have they been? Where do they want to go, or do they even care.
Why do we care about people? as I was asked in my sophmore year " What is love? What is good" I now ask what is caring? Why do we care if someone kill's themself it's their life their choice their body but why do we care? what make's us say NO you can't do that? what are the rule's? who made those rules and why? Messes with your head. Ah but yet I can't agree with some of the rule's. It's just not right. Shouldn't everyone have that chance at life? to be a person that life isn't yours though what make's you say No?
I can't think anymore I can't do anything I have nothing left here. People come and go face's pass you by in the hall's on the street like car's on a freeway. No one ever think's twice that you may never see that face again. It's just a glimp's of something...but what? I really think it could happen, Which scare's me but some shall be left untouched because I gave them my heart in my hand and they didn't take it. Oh well a lost is a lost. A winner never loses. I guess if you win inside you never can lose. What if you won on the outside though but lost inside? You will never be a winner?
The world here is such a complex place, such a dramitic, lonely, sometime's typical place yet full of surprises. I hate surprises.
Why should I let them say NO you can't why should I suffer for them for you, for anyone? Why should I stay and fake smile's pretend to be happy when inside im screaming let me out...why? why should I do anything? Call me weak let me be known as the failure. That's what I have alway's been known as anyway, so it really wont matter or phase me. Well not me...but it might hurt my heart, fot that is much to weak and sensitive.
Some would say fine do it, if that's what you think do it then who care's...and some could say how careless how heartless can you be? well what is caring? what's heartless no love in one's heart?
That's the one moment I would not hold back. I would.
Sometime's...alot.
I feel nothing...nothing inside but yet everything hurts.
I hate that feeling, I seem to think im the only one suffering. Like this life is so terrible. To me it is, to you maybe not or you may think I know nothing or " I don't know you" I don't need to. Not everyone suffers the same. Some may act like they are perfect but they really are not. There is no such thing as perfect. Even the most beautiful person has something to hide some flaw. But that's just people. If everything were perfect we would have no need to be here.
Sometime's I just think there is no need no need at all.
I sit here wondering where do these words come from? it must be something I'm feeling but can not explain because none of this is explainable, you read it you take it how you take it. Good or Bad it make's you think though right? yet it is all over. Like those face's that you see they are all over life is every where confusion, mere confusion. I often wonder will I ever see these face's again? or is this it.
It may be it but you never know, accident's happen sometime's you get a second chance, but I guess we shall see. Sometime's I just want to fall asleep and just lay there till who know's when. No thought's no pain no suffering no nothing. Just a painless endless regret. That I can not regret. Confusion all over again.
I only wish you knew understood or believed
If only if only they saw what lye's behind that reflection in the mirror...the one that reflect's what you see only smile's. Break the mirror see what lye's behind them.
La Shawn Marie Atchison |
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| Sometime's |
[Jan. 6th, 2006|08:11 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | lightheaded | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | none | ] |
Sometime's I wonder why I do thing's
Sometime's I don't care |
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| school... |
[Jan. 2nd, 2006|06:37 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | Dunno | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | TV | ] |
School Tommorow YIp....PiY yeah im sooo excited...=/
I do have to admit I some what miss school but I hate the fact nothing changed for me...I'm still the same. Not that I expected a change I guess...*sigh*
blah
I have nothing to really say but yeah have nice night and laters see you tommorow some of you to the rest HI!!!! ^__^
♥Lala |
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notbreathing06's journal